Wednesday, June 21, 2006

I saw someone today. It was nice to see him (yes, of course it was a he), but it was so unsatisfying that I almost wish I hadn't. This someone is one whose name I will never mention. He was driving away in his car and he waved to me from afar; I waved back...And that was it. It was good to see him. But I wish I had been able to speak to him, and hold a meaningful conversation. Before, sure I thought about him, but It was okay because I didn't expect to see him all summer. But now, now I am unsatisfied and disappointed. I must see him again, which is not entirely unlikely. Next time we meet though, I sincerely hope to be able to talk to my man of mystery.

Virginia Faith at 9:40 PM

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006

A friend once told me that I lack in personality flaws. Through the last couple days I have felt quite the contrary. I am not sure of the cause of this sudden self examination, but it makes me wonder-- is it getting worse or am I just becoming more sensitive? I have always had a low tolerance level, but when did I become intolerant of myself?

For starters, I dislike when I see nothing wrong with an idea, or I have an opinion of my own, but then I am persuading by someone else to think otherwise. Then when I voice my new opinion, it turns out to be wrong, or the person I am arguing with has a better argument, but his argument is supporting what I originally believed. Recently, I initially thought a situation was a really good idea, but was then persuaded differently. I voiced my new opinion, and I think I was too easily persuaded for selfish reasons. I now feel like somewhat of an ass. This brings me to my next flaw.

I have a tendency to be selfish, particularly in friendships. Sometimes I just don't want to share my friends. Which brings me to maybe the largest issue.

Jealousy. I try so hard not to be jealous, but I just don't know how to turn it off. I don't want to be jealous. Maybe if I keep saying that over and over again it will come true.

In general, it is my belief that I am simply over sensitive. I need to lighten up, take a breathe of fresh air, slow things down, take things less seriously. I am too sensitive, especially when it comes to certain people. I focus too much on certain people's opinions, I over analyze what they say to the point of insanity.

Okay-- here comes the hard part: change. Think I can do it? Oh come on, have a little faith.

Virginia Faith at 11:43 PM

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A Reno pawn shop owner has been charged with murder in his estranged wife's killing and is being sought for questioning in the sniper shooting of a judge who was involved with his divorce case, police confirmed Tuesday. Police launched a manhunt for Darren Roy Mack after Family Court Judge Chuck Weller was shot Monday in the chest by a sniper through the window of his third floor office in the Washoe County courthouse complex.
(for more: http://http://www.kolotv.com/home/headlines/3043141.html)

It is hard to believe this actually happened. But I'm sure all of us have thought this once or twice throughout the past couple days. I look forward to many days ahead when the bastard has been captured, and this is all behind us with the Wellers in good health and spirits.

Virginia Faith at 11:32 PM

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{xoxo}