Saturday, November 11, 2006

I want to pinch myself and wake up and see that it has all been a dream. I want to go back to when things were simple--when things were new and exciting, that first time he invited me to hang out with him, that romantic night in Tahoe, the cool summer night on the roof, driving up and down Mt. Rose highway, playing bluegrass music with complete strangers. It has been three months and one week, but this last month has felt like an eternity. I don't know how it got so complicated so quickly. How did I not notice before? How did I let him get like this? Why can't I fix it? I feel like I am so wrapped up in this alter-existence that i barely have time to consull my friends with their problems. It was so fun that first month. I want that back. I want the guy that smiles and talks about philosophy with me. I want the guy who talked about literature with me. I want the guy who opened up and talked about his family and his past with me. What happened to that guy? We have been through so much, and things may not be so exciting anymore, but I can't turn my back on him. I can't back out--not now--not while he is like this. What kind of a person would that make me--to turn my back on such a close person to me? It is just a dream.

Virginia Faith at 12:31 AM

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{xoxo}

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